This Fucking Trash Can

I just tripped on something in the kitchen, and as I caught myself on the edge of the counter, this bastard opens up its lid to add insult to injury.

Jerk.

Damon and I bought this thing after our other trash martyred itself a little less than a year ago. As we were browsing Amazon for a replacement, I saw this ~*~Trash Can of the Future~*~ and insisted we bring its magic into our home.

Note regarding setup: this damn thing takes FOUR (4) (IIII) D batteries. Who even has D batteries? I think this is the only thing on the planet that takes them except the super ultra intense Maglite that’s under your sink in case of an emergency. (Don’t worry, by the time you actually need it the batteries will have exploded and corroded out the inside. Also, your canned food is old because really, that expires…and you wish you’d stocked up on distilled water now, don’t you?)

Now I’ll be the first to admit, the thing can be pretty sweet. And when we first got it, I was captivated. No pedal to push, no shitty lid either not staying down after you “close” it or rotating around like a rotten-food flinging windmill. Over time, my relationship with the can has shifted, so I’d like to give a more reasonable, out of the honeymoon phase review.

 

Some of the awesome things about having a trash can with an automatic lid:

  • Opens when your hands are full

 

Some of the not-so-awesome things about having a trash can with an automatic lid:

  • Trash can times out during use, closes its lid, and you drop items on top of it
  • Trash can times out during use, closes its lid, and whacks you on the hands
  • You’re working on something over the can and it closes, then the sensor realizes you’re still there and reopens, flinging upwards and knocking everything out of your hands
  • Trash can cannot tell the difference between a human hand full of garbage to dispose of and a dog snout looking for garbage to eat
  • Trash can inconveniently opens when you’ve done something stupid in its vicinity, just so it can laugh at you

 

Technology is both friend and foe. And I know this robot trash can knows exactly what it’s doing.

Leave a Reply