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Best Gifts for The Pokemon Go Trainer in Your Life

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been swept up into the Pokemon Go craze. And let’s be honest, so have you. Really, though — stop acting like this is the worst thing of all time. The real tragedy here isn’t that everyone is walking around with their heads down, looking at their iPhones — it’s how many Rattatas and Pidgeys are around my office buildling and my apartment.

I am someone who is averse to all major life changes — that is, unless it consists of catching adorable monsters and categorizing them. I’ve already been assimilated. This is my life now. I even got Damon to sign up, and we’ve been sitting on the couch next to each other catching Drowzees since a couple weekends ago. I’m on Team Mystic, and I gave my trainer purple hair.

Maybe you’re feeling it, maybe you aren’t. Either way, it can’t hurt to get a little something for your favorite Ash Ketchum (or yourself). Or me. Consider this an early Christmas list.

Here’s a compilation of the best Pokemon-themed goodies I found on the internet. Stop by these e-PokeStops and fill your backpack with items!

I’m not sure how I’ve managed to catch any Pokemon at this point without this hat. Straight outta the Pokemon TV show, this is the hat Ash Ketchum wears to do work, son. Catch ’em all and keep the sun outta your eyes.

I love everything about this. I will concede that I am obsessed with onesies — perhaps moreso than the average human being. But this thing is less than $20! I’ll put the Ash Ketchum hat on top of Pikachu’s head, on top of my head, I don’t care.

Geeky Jerseys Pokemon Trainer Hockey Jersey

Hot damn. Blackhawks colors, too! This jersey is fully customizable. You can choose the number and the name on the back. And the quality on these things is straight-up awesome. I have one of their jerseys in a GOT Night’s Watch theme and can’t say enough about the patches, stitching and breathability.

Pokemon House Mystic T-Shirt Etsy

Speaking of Game of Thrones…a Pokemon/Game of Thrones Mashup? I die. “House Mystic: When the snow falls, so shall they” — winter is coming, y’all. Straight up. Need.

Pokemon Snorlax Mask Etsy

After a long day of wandering all over town hunting the elusive Snorlax, come home and get a good nap in. You can block out the gentle glow of your open iPhone screen with this Snorlax Sleep Mask.

Just LOOK at this Charizard hat! It has ears!! Charmander has been my go-to since the days of Pokemon Red on Game Boy. Damon chose Bulbasaur as his starter on Pokemon Go. I learned a lot about him when I saw this, and I’d like to note I still accepted his marriage proposal afterward.

And, speaking of Damon…do you think I can get him to wear this? The backs say “I CHOOSE YOU”. Maybe if I go ahead and buy it and start wearing mine front and center I can guilt him in to it. I got no shame in my Poke-game.

There’s really nothing worse than gaining tons of e-points and e-medals and having nothing to show for it in real life. Here’s physical versions of your achievements. Now if only they could do this for Mario coins.

Pokemon Oddish Planter Etsy

Perfect for your desk, so if you work for a company that has banned Pokemon Go like Damon’s, you can still at least think about it during the day. Especially if you haven’t managed to snag one of these suckers yet (thanks, 3-step glitch) — if you can’t have it in-game, have it in real life!

Love the thoughtfulness of a hand-made gift? Here’s how to make one yourself from Darby Smart. (They also offer the supplies!)

Pokemon Pikachu Self Defense Keychain Etsy

This one goes out to the ladies — for those late nights when you’re perusing the streets for Pokemon after dark. Sometimes you gotta work late and push back your hunting time, I get it. I’m gonna be honest, Pikachu looks like he’s enjoying his use little too much. Can the eyes just look at me, instead of rolled back like that? But it’s like a set of Pokemon brass knuckles, so I dig it.

Pokemon Shotglass Etsy

Now here’s something you probably couldn’t do the first time you ever played Pokemon — drink. Damon’s getting Bulbasaur, of course. And here’s a fun drinking game to start — every time you get annoyed that the Pokemon Go servers won’t load, you take a shot. (Kidding. Please don’t. You might die.)

Pokemon Pokedex Phone Case Etsy

I mean…you gotta. This thing is too cool. I hear there’s a 3D printer pattern available out there, but if you haven’t got one, this looks like the place to go. Here’s some instructions for adding a battery charger so you can stay out hunting even longer.


So far, this is what I’ve got. Hopefully as the game becomes more popular the internet will birth even more fun goodies. Or evolve the existing ones. Anyhoo, I’m off to walk over to the kitchen to see if the GPS signal is good enough to access my office building’s centralized gym. Send me snapchats (kelleygreene) in your Pikachu onesies!


Life, Technology

Apple Event March 21, 2016

Yesterday Apple held one of their much anticipated events to announce their new products and product updates. I watched the live stream and wanted to put together a recap for those of you that missed it.


(Snagged from the internet.)

Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO, started out with some information about their ongoing dispute with the FBI. Apple will continue to stand with their customers and will not create a backdoor into iOS. I’m happy to hear this; though it does sound like the FBI may have found a third party to get them in to the phone. Should be interesting to follow this story as it progresses.

They followed up with some information about a new recycling program. They’ve created a device called Liam. Liam has a very particular set of skills. Basically: if you’re an old iPhone, he will find you, and he will destroy (carefully dismember) you.


(Snagged from the internet.)

They’ll soon be powering Apple on 100% renewable energy. Actually really cool.

They brought up Health and the Research Kit. They’ve found that this has given thousands of people the opportunity to participate in research studies, and through that they’ve determined there are some treatments that can also be provided via the iPhone and Apple Watch. They’ve now created Care Kit, which will allow patients to receive follow-up care from their doctors remotely. Basically a 21st century update for an old-school doctor’s bag.

When they released their invitation for the event, mentioning the words “in the loop”, most folks assumed they’d be releasing a new version of the Apple Watch. They did not. But they do have new watch bands. I still can’t add a third party watch face, so it means nothing to me. (Okay, fine. I’m probably going to get the pink nylon band.)

They did release some updates for the Apple TV – the most useful one I heard was that Siri will now allow dictation for usernames and passwords. That’s for you, Damon. (Any time we have to type that information in to a device I snatch the remote out of Damon’s hands like it’s a delicious Thin Oreo because I’m too impatient to wait on him to click through the alphabet.)


What can you help me with, Siri? Find a way to accept keyboard input. (Snagged from the internet.)

They also released the iPhone SE. It’s basically got the same guts as the existing 6S phones, except in the body of what appears to be the iPhone 4. As a petite person, I am tempted by the thought of a smaller phone. I do miss the ease of composing a text message with one hand — the days with less typos — the days when I didn’t need my iPhone to try to decide I meant “shot” or “duck”. However, I’m not going back now, because my screen is bigger on the 6S and I have a Napoleon complex.

Screen Shot 2016-03-22 at 9.33.07 PM

(Screencapped from

Next, they covered iOS 9.3. I took a couple notes on some things they mentioned:

  • Night Shift – the phone’s screen will take on a less blue tint in the evening. Basically f.lux for your phone, or the reason why folks have jailbroken them prior to this.
  • Notes – you can now password protect notes in your Notes app, to keep that grocery list well and truly hidden
  • Health – the app will now make suggestions to you of apps that might work well. The first time my phone recommends I get off my ass will be its last.
  • News – Apple says they have 50 million active users of the News app. Bring out Maury Povich, because that is definitely a lie. Unless they’re counting the times when I accidentally opened that app trying to get to something else.
  • CarPlay – I have a 2008 model car. This will not work for me. And why are they still talking about Apple Music? Give it up, guys.
  • Education – I graduated from college 9 years ago, so if you think I found this interesting, you’re wrong.

Finally, they announced a “new” iPad (I’m not giving them any credit for new devices. For the iPhone SE, they dug around and found an old case in their Liam recycling pile and then crammed all the parts of the 6S in to it. And the iPad is basically the same thing. They borrowed Rick Moranis’s shrink ray and put the iPad Pro into a smaller body.)


(Snagged from the internet.)

The new iPad Pro is 9.7″, much smaller than the previous 12.9″. Both sizes are available. Both sizes are still out of my price range. To be honest, the only thing I really want is the Apple Pencil, which doesn’t even write on paper.

In closing, Tim Cook mentioned that this would most likely be their last town hall in that location. Next year, in 2017, they’re moving to their new spaceship campus. For a brief moment, I began to feel sentimental. I remember working for Apple and watching Steve Jobs give his Keynotes from my desk. It’s odd to think about how much time has passed since then, and how much has happened. That moment quickly ended when I realized he’d said 2017. 2017? What am I supposed to buy for the next 9 months?!


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