I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been swept up into the Pokemon Go craze. And let’s be honest, so have you. Really, though — stop acting like this is the worst thing of all time. The real tragedy here isn’t that everyone is walking around with their heads down, looking at their iPhones — it’s how many Rattatas and Pidgeys are around my office buildling and my apartment.
I am someone who is averse to all major life changes — that is, unless it consists of catching adorable monsters and categorizing them. I’ve already been assimilated. This is my life now. I even got Damon to sign up, and we’ve been sitting on the couch next to each other catching Drowzees since a couple weekends ago. I’m on Team Mystic, and I gave my trainer purple hair.
Maybe you’re feeling it, maybe you aren’t. Either way, it can’t hurt to get a little something for your favorite Ash Ketchum (or yourself). Or me. Consider this an early Christmas list.
Here’s a compilation of the best Pokemon-themed goodies I found on the internet. Stop by these e-PokeStops and fill your backpack with items!
I’m not sure how I’ve managed to catch any Pokemon at this point without this hat. Straight outta the Pokemon TV show, this is the hat Ash Ketchum wears to do work, son. Catch ’em all and keep the sun outta your eyes.
I love everything about this. I will concede that I am obsessed with onesies — perhaps moreso than the average human being. But this thing is less than $20! I’ll put the Ash Ketchum hat on top of Pikachu’s head, on top of my head, I don’t care.
Hot damn. Blackhawks colors, too! This jersey is fully customizable. You can choose the number and the name on the back. And the quality on these things is straight-up awesome. I have one of their jerseys in a GOT Night’s Watch theme and can’t say enough about the patches, stitching and breathability.
Speaking of Game of Thrones…a Pokemon/Game of Thrones Mashup? I die. “House Mystic: When the snow falls, so shall they” — winter is coming, y’all. Straight up. Need.
After a long day of wandering all over town hunting the elusive Snorlax, come home and get a good nap in. You can block out the gentle glow of your open iPhone screen with this Snorlax Sleep Mask.
Just LOOK at this Charizard hat! It has ears!! Charmander has been my go-to since the days of Pokemon Red on Game Boy. Damon chose Bulbasaur as his starter on Pokemon Go. I learned a lot about him when I saw this, and I’d like to note I still accepted his marriage proposal afterward.
And, speaking of Damon…do you think I can get him to wear this? The backs say “I CHOOSE YOU”. 
There’s really nothing worse than gaining tons of e-points and e-medals and having nothing to show for it in real life. Here’s physical versions of your achievements. Now if only they could do this for Mario coins.
Perfect for your desk, so if you work for a company that has banned Pokemon Go like Damon’s, you can still at least think about it during the day. Especially if you haven’t managed to snag one of these suckers yet (thanks, 3-step glitch) — if you can’t have it in-game, have it in real life!
Love the thoughtfulness of a hand-made gift? Here’s how to make one yourself from Darby Smart. (They also offer the supplies!)
This one goes out to the ladies — for those late nights when you’re perusing the streets for Pokemon after dark. Sometimes you gotta work late and push back your hunting time, I get it. I’m gonna be honest, Pikachu looks like he’s enjoying his use little too much. Can the eyes just look at me, instead of rolled back like that? But it’s like a set of Pokemon brass knuckles, so I dig it.
Now here’s something you probably couldn’t do the first time you ever played Pokemon — drink. Damon’s getting Bulbasaur, of course. And here’s a fun drinking game to start — every time you get annoyed that the Pokemon Go servers won’t load, you take a shot. (Kidding. Please don’t. You might die.)
I mean…you gotta. This thing is too cool. I hear there’s a 3D printer pattern available out there, but if you haven’t got one, this looks like the place to go. Here’s some instructions for adding a battery charger so you can stay out hunting even longer.
So far, this is what I’ve got. Hopefully as the game becomes more popular the internet will birth even more fun goodies. Or evolve the existing ones. Anyhoo, I’m off to walk over to the kitchen to see if the GPS signal is good enough to access my office building’s centralized gym. Send me snapchats (kelleygreene) in your Pikachu onesies!
