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Life, Writing

2018 BETTERMENT AGENDA

Crossposted on Medium.com.

New Year’s is generally a time when people begin planning a night with friends, buying some nice champagne, and putting together some resolutions. It’s a fun time to share your commitments with family and friends, and enjoy each other’s company.

For those of us slightly insecure self-help addicts, New Year’s is an anxiety inducing landmark, since it’s the PERFECT day to start one million projects and begin the [insert year here] BETTERMENT AGENDA. Really, early December is when the panic starts setting in.

PROJECT PREPARATION MODE, COMMENCE!

Anything you don’t like about yourself? You can change it NEXT YEAR! Every self-help book you read this year and vowed to put in to practice? This. Is. It.

Disorganized? This is the year you get a planner and actually use it.

Disclosure: I already bought two planners this year. One of them started in August, but don’t worry. I may have missed a few months, but I’ll be in it hot and heavy starting on January 1.

Want to read more? Make a resolution! Start a book on January 1st!

Disclosure: I made a goal on Goodreads to read 25 books this year. I read 10, and am in the middle of 2 more, but they sent me a message last week letting me know THERE’S STILL TIME TO COMPLETE MY GOAL!

Want to lose weight? Diet starts January 1st, along with your strict new workout regimen.

Disclosure: My wedding is in less than 9 months, and the Bingo wings have got to go. Also I’m going to learn to cook and take my lunch 3x a week to save cash. I bought a bento box this week. Okay, two. I couldn’t decide between them. I narrowed it down after 3 days and 45 Chrome tabs.

Want to start a business? Get that website up. January 1st launch date!

Disclosure: All I need to do is finish the WordPress site, figure out how Shopify works, create all the graphics, and get content up in the next…11 days. Oh yeah also that other blog…so just two quick WordPress sites. Easy.

Want a cleaner house? Want to get rid of all the stuff you don’t need? Want to have more fun in your life? Want to focus on more serious ventures? Want to find a new job? Want to work harder at your current job? Want to get more involved in politics? Want to get less involved in politics? January 1st, January 1st, January 1st!

My audible account has 14 audiobooks in it. 8 of them are self-help books. I bought at least 2 online self-help courses this year (neither of which I’ve had time to sit through). Organization, projects for becoming happier, being a badass, giving less of a f*ck, being more creative, finding your true desires — you name it, I’ve got it. I’ve read it. (Or it’s on my list to read.) I’ve wanted to start implementing changes…but just have to find the time! No matter. A few days off for the holidays should give me all the time I need to do…well, all of that shit.

It’s okay that one person tells you to focus on yourself while another tells you to focus on others. One person says you shouldn’t quit your job to pursue your passions, while another recommends it right away. Get a spreadsheet. Track your moods. Don’t keep so much track of everything and live in the moment. Travel! Be free. Also be content with where you are. Strive to better yourself, but don’t compare yourself to others. Be vulnerable with people, but figure out which people it’s okay to be vulnerable with. Live in a perfectly organized home, but don’t bother yourself with the little things. Somehow…just somehow, all of this will just meld together, right? And then I’ll be like, the ultimate person? The überperson?

Oh, welcome to my neuroses. We’re glad to have you, thanks for stopping by.

The truth is…I’m pretty all right. I’m on time when I go somewhere (mostly). I’m nice to people. I work hard. I have creative hobbies that I wish I had more time for. I could stand to lose a few pounds and be in a bit better shape. I could stand to make more money. But, like, couldn’t we all? Even you, you self-help gurus?

Maybe I should learn to meditate next year. I need to relax.

I think I’ll start on January 1st.

Life, Writing

Blog Hiatus

Hello to all my faithful (5, including my mom) readers!

I wanted to post an update, as I’m planning to put the blog on hiatus until my novel is complete. As it stands, I can see the finish line, and am very focused on getting it done. On the one hand, it’s a fantastic feeling. On the other, it means that I need to reduce the number of things I’m working on so that I can concentrate. Blogging is a blast, but it also saps my writing energy.

So, I’ll still be around on social media, and will likely be publishing a book review or wedding planning update or sharing a fantastic sale here or there — but won’t be making any regular or scheduled posts. Damon and I are also spinning up a new project together, so I’ll be letting you guys know about that once it’s ready to go.

I can’t wait to come back and let all five of you know that my book is done. I’m READY!

See ya soon,
Kelley

P.S. If you wanna hang on social media, click on any of the links up in the top right-hand corner of the page. I’ll continue posting there regularly because I just can’t help myself.

P.P.S. Don’t worry. I’ll be back.

Books, Life, Writing

Wedding Planning & “Our Perfect Marriage”

Folks have been asking me basically since the day after we got engaged how wedding planning is going, and my answer has been pretty much the same for the last couple of months: “Umm…we have the list done?” How soon are you supposed to set a date, anyway? What comes first? Colors? Time of year? Venue? Date? Invites? I don’t think anyone really knows, and if they say they do, they’re either a liar or a professional wedding planner.

Which comes to my main point: we’re going to hire a professional wedding planner.

And no, we haven’t found one yet. We have a place we found on Yelp that we’re planning to meet with, at least. But we don’t have a date to meet with them. Damon wanted to make one but I was sick for like 2 weeks and demanded that we not meet the wedding planner while I was coughing all over the place.

This place we found will even make you your own binder with all the deets inside, so I’ll have that to consult when people ask me questions. BOOYAH. As long as I can give off the appearance of knowing what the hell I’m doing, I’m happy.

 

In related news, today our pals’ fantastic new book comes out today: Our Perfect Marriage.

 

One of the many driving factors behind pushing forward with our wedding planning (other than actually getting married, of course) is how much fun Damon and I are going to have sitting down to fill this thing out afterward. The book is basically a mad-libs style fill in the blank journal that you can have forever and ever. The quizzes are hysterical, and I’m not sure I’m going to allow D to fill out the “My Most Annoying Habit” section, unless he wants my most annoying habit to become taking this book away forever.

However, I am pretty stoked to see what he sees in the couples’ Rorschach test, because I already looked at it and they’re all baby animals or demons. Hope he gets those right.

And — if you were thinking about getting this for us for our wedding, please do. We already have a copy but I forsee me wanting a new one when Damon gets his messy handwriting in it or I see what he put down about my kitchen chore habits. Also, if you’re getting married any time soon and want to invite me solely for the purpose of getting this book as a gift: done and done.

 

Wedding planning updates to come as soon as I have ’em. In the meantime, go get this book and have some fun with your husband/wife!

Writing

The Awkward Phase

I’d like to start off this post by telling you how much I love Claire Linic. She is, no exaggeration, one of my favorite people on the planet. She’s fun, she’s funny, she’s honest, and she’s supportive. She’s a kween at dropping a Kimoji in a text convo at just the right time. I’m truly in awe of her pure talent and how hard she works. I could go on and on, but for now I’ll just say: I was incredibly honored when she offered me the opportunity to submit a story for her book. This is it: 

The Awkward Phase: The Uplifting Tales of Those Weird Kids You Went to School With

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The Awkward Phase is about exactly what it says — the awkward phases in life we all go through. And we do all go through them. Even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had one. I’m certain of it. (The editor of this blog (me) wishes for me to tell you that I am not claiming that DTRJ has an excerpt in the book. I’m also not claiming that he doesn’t.)

And honestly, what’s better than reading a bunch of stories that make you feel connected to humanity, and laughing hysterically at a photo of me that incited pure hatred until I was about 16 years old?

It’s available for preorder on Amazon, and is coming out on February 2nd. (2016.) I can imagine this would be a great gift for teens or adults. Also, there’s a giveaway contest going on on The Awkward Phase’s Facebook page, so head over, like the page and share their post.

If you’re one of my family members and you’re reading this and are not currently clicking “Add To Cart” on Amazon be aware that I take it as a personal sleight.

My name may not be on the cover, but this is my very first time ever being truly published, and I’m so thankful for that. Thank you so much, Claire. <3

Writing

George R. R. Martin and The Winds of Winter

Anyone who knows me knows I’m obsessed with both the A Song of Ice and Fire series and the “Game of Thrones” TV show. I mean ob-sessed. Like in a don’t get me started kind of way. I’ll talk theories until you hate me.

Proof: My coworkers got me a cardboard Jon Snow cutout for Christmas.

View post on imgur.com

View post on imgur.com

On January 2nd, George R. R. Martin (henceforth referred to as GRRM) posted a note on his LiveJournal (yes, he still uses LiveJournal and yes, I’m okay with it) announcing that he would be unable to finish his new book, The Winds of Winter, before the season 6 premiere of “Game of Thrones”. I mean, it was clear that the whole series wasn’t going to be finished ahead of the show, but there was still hope for the 6th installment.

While I found this to be rather disappointing personally, I can’t help but feel for the guy. I’ve currently completed approximately 95,000 words in the novel I’ve been working on for two years, Heartswell. Comparatively, that’s around 275 printed pages in a book. I’m no GRRM, but I’m here to tell you that that shit is hard as hell. And deadlines? Ptheh. How you gonna put a writer on a deadline? I mean, hell, I’m having a hard enough time coercing myself to post on the blog this evening. Imagine trying to complete your sixth 1500-page book.

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Damon will take credit for getting me into the show. He invited me to watch it early on (prior to me reading the books) and after the episode where [SPOILER ALERT]* Lady gets killed, I was like, f this garbage. I don’t DO animals being injured on TV. (This includes those effing ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing over the top. ESPECIALLY those.) I got spoiled about the Red Wedding online during a time when I was watching bits and pieces of the show from walking past when it was on. Then I became intrigued and started after the books, which were some of the best I’ve ever read.  Not to mention, once I read the books after season 3, I realized I could find out ahead of time what would happen to the characters, so I knew when to cover my eyes. That’s my biggest fear about the season ahead. Blood, gore — when can I look? Ick.

Now. On a positive note about The Winds of Winter not being finished: to be completely honest, my time frame for getting that book read before the show started back up was looking preeeeetty sketchy. I finished books 1-5 over the course of about 8 weeks a couple of years ago, including a business trip to India that was an 18.5 hour flight each way, spending an inordinate amount of time “working” at my desk with my Kindle in my lap and I’d wager I probably managed to speak 5 words aloud to Damon over that time frame. So, I can’t say I’m fully disappointed that I won’t have that pressure to finish the book as fast as I can. You gotta take your time with these things or you’ll miss something.

In closing, I love A Song of Ice and Fire and “Game of Thrones”. Don’t make me choose, because I won’t.

*Also, like, sorry if that spoiled anything for you but like seriously the show came out 6 years ago and if you haven’t started watching it yet or reading the books I don’t feel sorry for you because those started like TWENTY years ago and also it’s the best thing ever and like I DON’T think Jon is dead because did you see how Melisandre was conveniently showing up at Castle Black there at the end of the season and ALSO like I think I know who his parents are and what the hell are they supposed to do with Sansa and Brienne and Stannis now because they are not where they are supposed to be and it’s really confusing me and — um…whoops. SEE?

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